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The Trip

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**Homage to Douglas Adams

It was a trip of a lifetime, yet she couldn’t quite shake the feeling that there was a catch.  She had won the competition, but she couldn’t quite remember entering a competition when she bought ‘Zaphods Haemorrhoid Cream’, in fact, she was pretty sure that she hadn’t had occasion to buy haemorrhoid cream but the man on the phone had insisted that she had bought the cream, that she had entered the competition and she had won an all expenses paid trip to a mystery destination.

“How does one exactly pack for a mystery destination?” seemed a reasonable question. “Could you at least give me some idea about what kind of climate to expect?”

“Pack light,” the voice on the phone suggested before adding. “A limousine will pick you up to take you away on the adventure of a lifetime in exactly one week at 10 am.”

Marigold shrugged. It wasn’t ideal but it wasn’t like she had anything better to do either.

So, in exactly one week a white limousine pulled up outside her home and the chauffeur knocked on her door. Marigold tried to feign excitement, but the sense of foreboding just wouldn’t leave her; however, the chauffeur was so deliciously handsome that she immediately forgot her concerns and started flirting instead.

“Goodness,” she breathed looking at him with what she imagined were bedroom eyes but looked more like she had something nasty caught in them.

He frowned at her. “Have you something caught in your eye?”

Marigold blushed and shook her head.

Opening the back door, he gestured for her to hop into the back of the luxury car, once he slammed the door, all of the doors locked.

Marigold could feel her panic rise just a little as he sat in the driver’s seat and started the car.

“Uhm. Excuse me,” she said politely. “Where am I going?”

He turned to look at her, no longer deliciously handsome but more of a green, slimy lump with tentacles and what seemed to be six eyes. “Out of this world, baby.”

Marigold could feel her panic rise a lot as she passed out.

The chauffeur shrugged as he manoeuvred the car skywards. These humans always seemed to either scream or faint; at least this one was a fainter the last was so loud he had to eject them someway between Earth and the Milky Way.

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